Dating is often stressful, unrewarding and sometimes pointless. So what can we do…. Enter Mindfulness… The quiet revolution. The organic technology for expanding consciousness and increasing happiness.
As I’m sure you’re aware, mindfulness has caught on in a big way over the past few years… and for good reason. if practiced correctly, mindfulness can help improve health, mood, brain power, sleep habits, dietary habits… and your sex life!!!!
And Mindful Dating will help you to feel more in control, less hopeless, increase enjoyment and reduce anxiety. But what is mindfulness anyway? Mindfulness is all about being in the present moment. By cultivating awareness of what is happening in the here and now you give yourself the chance to fully participate in your life instead of being reactive and going through it on automatic pilot. Mindful Dating is the practice of bringing that awareness to your romantic encounters and using it to remain open to yourself and a potential partner. We bring so many expectations with us on a date: “he should be this”, “he must look a certain way”, “I have to feel that instant connection”. These expectations along with our negative past dating experiences can lead to missing out on a wonderful relationship or falling for one that is not worth your time. Learning to date mindfully allows you to be your true self and make a genuine connection. In other words, the more you learn to be present and in tune with your needs, the less focused you will be on trying to be what “he” wants you to be or what you want him to be.
So bottom line, if you are in your mind, you are not fully present. And if you are not fully present you definitely are not the best representation of yourself!
Practicing mindfulness is an important factor in the overall well-being of your mind, body, and soul. Extend those practices to dating to make the whole process healthier and happier. Here are six do’s and don’ts for mindful dating:
1. Be Present and Observe your feelings in the moment
2. Leave your past in the past
3. Have No Expectations
4. Date With Intention
5. Listen to your inner voice and Communicate without blame
6 Date with Integrity
It’s important to take a step back and be sure that you’re actually choosing your own dating path, rather than being swept along, and that you keep checking in with yourself to make sure you’re enjoying it and getting something from it. It’s important to stay mindful.
I’m Dr. Antonio Borrello, a psychologist and dating and relationship expert and author of Dating 3.0: Finding Love in the Age of Social Media and the Smart Phone.
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I’m happy to answer subscriber dating and relationship questions anonymously. Email AntonioBorrello@icloud.com